Hate who?

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." - Luk 14:26

Those are tough words, there's no denying that. In light of Jesus' teachings about loving everyone, even your enemies; this verse seems to contradict the message of love that can be found elsewhere in the NT -- especially because it talks about hating those closest to you. But if you do a little research elsewhere in the Bible, you will realize that "hate" in this context was used as a hyperbole, certainly not meant to be taken literally.

According to Strong's Bible dictionary, one meaning of the word hate is 'to love less.' This is affirmed in Genesis 20.

Gen 29:30 - So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years. 31 - When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.

Since Rachel was loved more than Leah, Leah was hated by comparison. Therefore, hate can be rendered 'to love less.'

Now, let's look at the parallel of Luke 14:26, located in Matthew 10:37 -- "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

So really, the verse in Luke isn't telling us to hate our families in the direct sense of the word; rather, it is saying that there is nothing that we should put before God. It's a matter of priority. You know what is right, just, and true; and nothing -- no member of your family, not even fear for your own life, should prevent you from doing it.

However, discernement is certainly necessary in cases like these. As Paul tells us in
Rom 14:20, "Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble."

Therefore, we must assess our motives. If God is truly calling us, we cannot put anything before him, and must obey him first. But if the matter has nothing to do with salvation or God's calling, but more with ourselves; it may be better in some cases to abstain for the sake of those aound you.

For instance, if you have a friend with an alcohol problem, is it right to drink around them, leading them into temptation, just because you're free to do so? Or if all of your family has a religion that prohibits them from eating meat, why create a rift by eating it, and cause them to blaspheme God's name?

Again, these circumstances are very difficult, and require a lot of prayer. But when God is truly calling you, sometimes you need to sacrifice the approval of your family, your reputation, certain aspects of your life, or all of it; just like Jesus did.

That's called loving God more.